This last weekend I visited my very physical, very real temple of times past and found it more potent than originally thought. The night somewhat cooled my burning blood, but still it seethes. Since I seem to be stuck on the theme of time then I shall say it thus: it was similar to looking at a clock----finding an hour hand but no minute. How could things have happened so long ago? I feel almost the same as I did then, the mirror tells me little different at this point. But as I struggle to recall events, I understand there is a part of me that is lost forever. Good riddance? Perhaps. I am no so sure I would easily part with me if I had been given the conscious choice. Yet the me-now looks at the me-then and cannot help but chuckle. It is a mirthless laugh, one more of disdain, but grinning nonetheless. The future frightens me, in that one day very soon I may look at this present-me and laugh the same bloodless way. What pitiable creatures we are sure to make of ourselves. I do not want to be a slave to regret, for he is a vicious master indeed. So I must live now that I may glance at old photographs and only allow a happy smile in reminiscence.

Or…I may just be high on Nyquil. My smallest sibling brought home some awful bug from work. My throat hurts like nobody’s business and I can’t even numb it with spay because I can’t open my jaw wide enough to get at it. I had dentistry done yesterday and am dealing with the pain of that still. How very frustrating. This month is a month for decisions (I almost sounded like a horoscope there. Very ew.) All too soon my life is set to be changed and I shall not be the leader of that change. It is difficult to allow oneself to feel helpless. I suppose the only thing to do is to ask God for comfort and trust in His divine Will.

I was just watching part of Ferngully last night (part of a project I’m doing involving watching movies I used to really like and finding what I think of them now) and wow. Talk about indoctrination. I am all for conservation, but this movie is absolutely guileless! I would never let my child watch it! As a child myself I didn’t even understand the obvious agenda of the thing. Besides that, the best part of the whole film is Tim Curry singing as the bad guy, Hexus. Isn’t that what we want to avoid???????? Anyway, just a parting thought on that. More later.

"Ageless wisdom is just that: wisdom, less the ridiculous light dissimilar ages smear on it." >Dr.P<